It's scary knowing that you're going to be a mother. It scares me that I will experience so many emotions that I have absolutely no control over. That sucks. I like having control. Control is my friend. We were like peas and carrots during the wedding process, what's the problem?

How will I deal with my emotions? I guess the same way I do now. Crank up the stereo and sing so loudly I almost go hoarse. Time to bring out the Air Supply cd, I guess. It cracked me up in Mr. & Mrs. Smith when Brad Pitt is singing "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" in the minivan while Angelina shoots the bad guys. Ahhhhhh, Brad. So nice to the eyes.

Okay, back to the blog.

I know that I will experience the pain of letting go. I hate that. I don't want to experience it. But I know I can't help it. Maybe it won't be so bad that I'm preparing myself now? Maybe not.

I'm still going to work after the baby is here. Luckily I have wonderful family members that can watch the baby full time. I'm just afraid of the hurt I'll have leaving the child to develop and grow while I am away.

I might miss the first crawl, the first step, the many smiles and that makes me sad. And when the bell chimes and it's time to leave work, I'm sure I'll feel that my car can't go fast enough, that the lights can't change quick enough and the traffic can't get out of my way in enough time to get home. 60 seconds feels like 60 hours at that point, I'm sure.

Sigh. Enough sadness. Welcome to the Rockin' Rollercoaster sponsored by My Emotions!!