The Feeling of Being...

Helpless - I can't help that my baby is going to be away from me all day while I work. Each day he will grow physically, emotionally, mentally by the minute and I will miss it. This makes me sad.

Dependent - I will be dependent on others for my child's well-being. Because of this, I will probably have to dance circles to make them stay happy. I will have to deal with enless amounts of advice and probably have to take action upon it. If they are not happy, then I am deemed ungrateful. This makes me sad.

Scared - I'm scared of the emotional toll that bringing a child into this world will have on me. I cannot imagine or predict how much love I will have for something so small. I won't figure that out until he gets here and there is nothing I can do about it by then. What a burden I have put on my child. This makes me sad.

Hurt - The physical hurt is one thing, but the emotional hurt of leaving my child is another. Eventually, for his betterment, I will have to let the reins go and have him create his own future. Whether it be the first day back to work, the first day of school, the first day of college or his wedding day, I will have to let my son be himself and not a little version of me. This makes me sad.

Let's end on a good note. Even though I will feel the above emotions, there are so many positive emotions that I haven't touched on. I keep reminding myself of the joyous feelings that having a son will bring into my everyday life. From the time we first meet until we say goodbye I will NEVER regret bringing him into my life. That makes me happy.