Signs I've Got This Mother Thing Down...

1. I'm happy that I caught my son's pee in my hand instead of having it fly everywhere.

2. I've held my son while sitting on the toilet.

3. I've evaluated his bowel movements.

4. I haven't screamed bloody murder when his poo exploded out of his butt and got on me.

5. He's screaming, turning purple, holding his breath, and I'm still talking baby talk to him while I finish changing his diaper. (I also gently blow in his face so he catches his breath.)

6. A little spit up on a brand new black shirt I just put on won't hurt anyone, right?

7. Up from 11pm-12am, 1-2am, 2:30-3:15am, 3:16-4am and 5:30-6:15am and I make it through my first day at work!